People to people

You guys are two of the coolest people that I hope I get to know. You are literally affecting the world and people around you in ways that you can't imagine. Today you renewed my faith in people.

I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty

Here I am bitching about my mom and I realized that the girl in my class would do anything to be able to have another fight with her mom. But she won't be able to. Most people would feel guilty complaining when there are others so much worse off than themselves.

Why'd you come home?

You clearly don't like it here.
And frankly, it was nice to be away from you.

From September 30th

I hate being compared to other people. I hate comparing myself to other people. I hate that a part of me still can't shake the idea that money and wealth are equivalent to happiness. I hate that success is measured in salaries, clothes, and cars. I hate that if I'm not the best, I feel like the worst. I hate society's standards for me. I hate my standards for myself.

I'm determined to change. I'm programmed to think that if I work hard now, I'll get in to a prestigious college so I can get a high paying job so I can make lots of money so I can buy lots of expensive things that supposedly will make me feel happy and successful.

(I was the biggest hypocrite alive today.)

I've come too far to lose it all because of you

If she messes up my letter of reccomendation she will regret it.

:(

I can't handle my life right now.

But really, who am I to complain? Two people from the Africa team lost family members this week. I don't understand. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why? I don't know that I'll ever know why. I just know that they do. In the middle of this chaos and upheaval that is life, I find solace in the fact that I belong to a group of people that are supportive and ready to serve in any way that they are called. You are my refuge and it's an honor.

three little birds

Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the ... core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.

Looking up at the moon

"Sometimes I lay under the moon and thank God I'm breathing, then I pray don't take me soon cause I'm here for a reason."

I needed to hear that.
We're all here for a reason.
Each and every one of us.

Draw again?

I'm frustrated with the hand life delt me. I don't like these cards.

myself

He asked me to explain my self-portrait to the class. Like it wasn't hard enough to show it in the first place. No, it doesn't explicitly tell every little detail. Sure, the class doesn't know, but I know. It's a weird feeling to look at that picture, I wholeheartedly love it and hate it at the same time. So I kept my explanation vague, but it was terrifying to let them in, it's scary to make myself vulnerable. I've "admitted" it to myself, but I haven't really taken it to hear yet. I'm in denial that I'm in denial.

You know who you are

Hey :)
We haven't talked in a while, I hope things are going well for you. And whether they are amazing, or whether they're far from it, I'd really like to talk and see what's up with you. I know I've said it before, but I want to say it again. Thank you. You helped me see that I could be strong, you showed me that other people struggle with the same things I struggle with. You made me feel like I wasn't alone, like I wasn't some crazy. You saved me. And days like today, I can't imagine what I would be like if I hadn't met you. Today was a wonderful day, and I'm here to appreciate it because of you. I'm still learning; it's a long process. Life's still not easy, but I know I can handle it. The next couple of weeks and months are going to be really stressful, but I'm okay with that, I'll make it through. Thank you for helping me get to where I am in life. Thank you for giving me the chance to have days like today.