Embrace

Today was one of those days that reminds me what is really important in life.

Thank you for helping me realize that it's up to me to build my family.
You helped me realize that family isn't DNA. It's a deep relationship. It's loving and trusting people with everything in you. It's looking out, having their back. Family celebrate your happiest moments and push you through the times you just want to quit.

My small group is the most wonderfully awkward combination of individuals imaginable. We piled in the car, four in the back, almost three in the front, made about fifty wrong turns before we discovered that the restaurant didn't exist, met a fantastic old Greek man with a great vest, told inappropriate jokes, teased each other about pretty much everything, exchanged numbers in Big 5, trusted each other with our secrets, avoided eye contact with affectionate couples, stared at people in Starbucks, and ended the night with a group hug. You are my family, and I love you all more than you know.

Africa reunion. Sometimes life is just incredible. It literally wrenches my heart to hear the stories of the witchdoctors hunting albino children and the Hadzabe people starving with no harvest. Their stories brought it all back like I'd been there yesterday. I thought of Mike and Safari Steve and Mbigi and Rose. I thought about the children at Mama Lynn's and the markets in Arusha. I remember the sights and the smells and tucking in my mosquito net each night. But more than that I remember the spirit. Our last night at the Greenhouse I told the group that I had never felt so loved and encouraged in my life. And it's true. The people who went shared what stretched them and what blessed them, and each story was so heartfelt and so real. I don't know if I'm supposed to go back to Africa. I don't know if I'll get the money, but moreso I don't know if my heart is in the right place. It's not fair to the team to have a lukewarm committment. I can't go back because I feel like I should. I need to give myself physically mentally and emotionally. But what Phil always says finally makes sense. I may never go back. Phil, today you reminded me that every day is an opportunity to make a difference, to touch lives, to give a part of what I have been given. I'm overwhelmed, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Jackie, thank you for listening to my babble and understanding how I felt. I'm so renewed and refocused. Loved and encouraged.

Tonight I embraced life for what it is.
Thank you all for being my family.
Pour out to others what I hope I have poured into you.