Okay, so you know I'm in PC, and you know that PC has ethics. And if you know those two things you also probably know that not all PC's follow all of the ethics all of the time.
The Ethics are:
1. have unconditional positive regard for everyone
2. respect confidentiality
3. refrain from giving advice (don't tell someone you're couseling what to do, help them figure out what they feel is right)
4. know when to refer out
5. extend ourselves and follow up with each contact
6. attempt to model peaceful and nonviolent behavior at all times
7. strive to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a healthy self-concept
8. Obey all laws and school rules
There is a lot of debate amoung PC's as to what consequences we ought to face when we violate the ethics. Many people focus on the fact that there are PC's who drink and/or do drugs. I have never experimented with drugs or alcolhol, and I don't intend to anytime soon. But there have been many, many times that I have either come close to breaking or have broken the other ethics. I do not have unconditional positive regard for every single person I meet all the time. I have broken laws and other rules. I have failed to follow up with contacts.
I feel like these violations really stop us from reaching our full potential.
Think about it.
#2...How can someone trust us if we don't respect their privacy?
#4...How can we help when we don't know the limits of our own abilities?
#5...How can we counsel someone we don't keep in contanct with?
I feel like we condone ethics violations. We sweep them under a rug and pretend they're not there.
Okay, so what should we do instead? A zero-tolerance policy?
If we had a zero-tolerance policy, we would have no PCs.
The purpose of PC is to reach out to everyone at our school, right?
“Everyone” includes people who drink. Different PC’s ‘reach’ different groups, and if we really want to reach everyone, we need PC’s in that group. If we want to help people at our school deal with issues like alcoholism, we need to be able to reach them. Kicking people out of PC for drinking is only going to push the issue further out of our reach.
In all honesty, I don't think it is the end of the world if high schoolers drink. But I do feel as though it is insincere and disrespectful of PCs to knowingly and habitually break the ethics, whether they do so by drinking or not.
What makes it so hard is the fact that I know I’ve rethought many of my decisions and avoided temptation to break the ethics many, many times yet I watch others slip up and ruin the reputation for us all, consequence free. I also know I cannot hold everyone to the same standard that I hold myself because we are all different people, but sometimes I feel like they really aren’t trying to adhere to the ethics.
Do I respect ethics violations? No.
But I do believe that good people can make poor decisions. And I think they still have a lot to offer the group and our school.
We all have our struggles. Don’t single someone out because theirs is alcohol.
Drinking is a serious problem, but it is not the only one. An ethics violation is an ethics violation and we’re all guilty of them.
It's a confusing mess, and it's going to stay that way unless we stop pointing fingers, take responsibility for our actions, hold ourselves and others accountable, and address the real issues instead of looking for reasons to blame.
How can we expect to be an effective group when we're so divided?
To those of you who drink: consider your actions and their impact on the whole group. Your decisions affect not only you, they affect your friends, your family, and PC.
To those of you who do not drink: consider the ohter ethics. Confidentiality and positive regard are just as important as a healthy lifestyle.
To both of you: stop judging, start loving.
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