Guys suck

to a new friend:
I'm sorry I couldn't offer your more than awkward and cliche consolation. I'm sorry you guys broke up, I wish I knew what you need to hear.

to an old friend:
I'm sorry he won't get over you and leave you alone. I don't have the best track record in that department, so I don't know what to do any more than you do, but I do hope it gets better, cause I know it's getting old fast. If venting helps, I'm here for you to vent.